What dee fuck?! Dat Bitchface Osama never show like he a dumbass ho. Damn bastard. Make me waste my fucking time like dat and he no no show! I important man, and I have not much time to work. I busy man.

Anyways. Like I say. I blow dat bitch to dee sky but he call me on my cell like I his beetch and he say "I sorry I have cancel, but I in cave."

 What fuck?! He bastard. Dat bitch win dee world for me. If he can blow up towers he can fight off American bastards to come see me. Damn. I had entire week planned out. We go to Milwaukee and we check into Holiday Inn and we have... well dat's none of Fidel reader's concern.

He lead me on like I bitch.

Fidel sound gay, but I not! I hate homosexuals. I know no what turn dem on. I no like watching boy ass like... Fidel be back in uno second.

I back. I had to potty. I sorry it take me 10 minutes.

Ok. Fidel back. How are Children of Fidel? I only have dee one child and he is good. He back talk me like a bitch dee other day I imprison him for day. Teach dat almost 50 year old mother fucker to back talk Fidel.

Ok. Fidel going to go. I bery busy man and I have to work. Yes. Work.

Good Nite my little beetches,

Fidel

Okay. I pack my bags. Now I am waiting on that bitchface Osama. He so mean and retarded. I do not know why he no take the ticket I buy for him. I buy him first class ticket on Cubana. But no. Little Bitch Osama wanted to take his own airplane. So he probably hijack something to come here. Damn Osama.

Now I watch my TV. It so good. I love my satellite. The Playboy Channel is nice, but now Fidel watch the Chitty Chitty bang bang movie. It so not good. I turn channel.

I done for day. I will type when get to Milwaukee.

Much love and Fidel is out. NO Peace Beetch.

~~~Fidel~~~

First entry of Fidel. Yes. I am so smart. I buy new computer from friend. It so fast. Yes. Saddam my friend he say to me he say "Fidel, you need computer. Move into the century." Then we laugh. Yes. We laugh and laugh and jail someone. It so funny.

Saddam my friend he get caught by damn George Bush. Bushy get on my nerves. At world leader picnic in Montreal last year he spit in my hamburger. Tony Blair and Bushy they such bullies. Damn them. Well. I hope they send Saddam to Guantanamo. So many tunnels I have into jail cells. I bust out my best buddy. And then we go to beach and look at hot hunnies and then we put them in jail for not playing game Michael Jackson teach us. How many plums do I have in my pocket. LOL. I so funny.

Yes. People of Cuba so nice. They all read my Xanga and then they say "Fidel, you so nice." They so nice.

Yes. So tonight I need to pack my bags for my trip. Osama and I travel to Milwaukee. I heart Milwaukee. It so fun. It so cold. Make testicles of Fidel shrivel up. Osama and Fidel like to streak in Milwaukee. We like Budwieser too. It good. It better than my beer in this Havana. Okay. I go now. I pack my bags.

Sayonara, 

Fidel